To The Vagina Terrorists: You Were Wrong… Conception Is Freaking Hard
I grew up in a conservative Catholic family and my mom and all my aunts and several of my cousins got married virgins. Why would anybody choose to do that, its beyond me. It’s like they don’t realize its the 21st century.
We were taught that if a boy’s penis got into contact with your lady flower — as they called it — you would get pregnant and your life would be ruined forever. If you so much as fell asleep on a boy’s bed that had sperm in it, you’d get knocked up. The fate of the boy seemed to fluctuate between being free from any responsibility and leaving me to figure this out alone and poor or to end up working at a gas station and figure it out with me and both of us would be poor. The only safe alternative was to not get pregnant in the first place.
I believed the vagina terrorists and I can honestly say that in the 14 years of birth control pill, I never forgot to take it, not even once. And somehow I still managed to freak out several times about being knocked up at the wrong time.
After almost a year and a half of trying to conceive and overdosing on unprotected sex, somehow I’m still unpregnant. I am confident that in all those attempts, my husband’s penis more than touched my lady flower… my lady flower cannibalized it.
To the vagina terrorists, I’d like to clear something out in case you’re still not sure. Conception is fucking hard. Stars pretty much have to align for this shit to happen apparently.
I just wish someone had given me the real story so the choice to wait would have been from my heart and not from fear that my world would fall apart.