The Art of Gift Receiving

gift receivingNo one likes being a drag in somebody else’s life, especially loved ones. I take this concept to a whole new level. I have the mindset of a martyr, seriously. Although I’m as far from being a hero as possible, I somehow manage to try my best and still fuck up.

On Saturday I had my first guitar lesson, and I was sold. I must learn it! So I looked on Craigslist for hours for some cheap guitars I could buy so I could practice at home. I responded to so many ads I lost track of it. Come Monday morning, someone finally got back to me and I bought my first guitar. I rushed to my therapy session and ask my hubby to meet me there because I wanted to discuss our infertility disparity, but that’s a whole separate post… anyways, when we left the office he asked me to meet by his car because he needed help with something. When I get there, he opened the back window of the truck and there it was, a brand new guitar, with all the add-ons.

I should have been stoked, who wouldn’t like a surprise like that? But instead I ruined a perfect chance to be nice right back at him.

Knowing how I have a hard time receiving gifts (receiving anything really) I force stopped my mind from going off at him on all the reasons why he shouldn’t have done that and said thank you, and I told him to get something in my car too. When he got there, he discovered the guitar I bought and we had a good laugh about it. He’s not stupid though, he knew what was on my mind… I wasn’t stoked on the fact that he bought a brand new guitar when I clearly stated I wanted something cheap just to practice my fingers… plus he got an expensive case, neck strap and a tuner, which FYI you can download for free on the app store. Yet, none of those reasons justify why I put more weight on why he shouldn’t have done that rather than the sweet gesture it was.

There’s something wrong with me, I swear! When I turned 30 I didn’t tell any of my friends, and since I’ve been conspicuously hiding my birthday for several years now, the big 30 passed by unscathed. A few months later they realized the somehow I managed to go a whole year and not have a birthday, so they figured it out and threw me a surprise party. Honestly, I was mad on the inside when I got home and saw all that.

Hubby and I had a talk last night and I apologized and promised I would learn to “receive” more graciously. I need to stop being so selfishly selfish, if that’s even possible. It’s like I can help everybody out, all my friends and family depend on me all the time and I love “giving”, but I can’t accept the same gesture in return… maybe I feel undeserving of their care and love?

Am I the only one like this? Why do I have a hard time receiving?

I got leid at work today, for no reason at all, who wouldn’t be thankful about that? I’m happy to inform you that I reacted very graciously upon receiving said gift. But it’s only the start of a journey… changing yourself at such a deep level is no easy task.

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About Love,DANI

I have recently developed Obsessive Compulsive Blogging Disorder in order to mask the fact that my ability to procreate might be fully dependent on my bank account balance. Some think I'm bossy others think I'm soft, but the truth is I'm a sugglebunny she-ra wine drinking slave working alpha bitch that just wants to have some goddamn babies. www.LOVEcomaMOM.wordpress.com is something I've always wanted to do since I was a kid and decided to write down all the things my mom did wrong but blogs didn't exist. So I take notes of things I want to teach my imaginary kids, good and bad. You'll find that I fluctuate between loving and crazy wannabe mom. I hope my kids will read this someday. www.LOVEcomaDANI.wordpress.com This one is for my bitches and I write about whatever I want, whatever thought is on my mind that day. Beware, I freely curse ad I'm a firm believer that swear words are here to emphasize my thoughts.

Posted on April 23, 2014, in Life Lesson Series, Note to self and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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