Confession: I Almost Killed My Husband Last Night
It’s no news that women undergoing fertility treatments keep riding the emotional roller coaster over and over again, with no pit stop. It’s also no news that this fucking sucks! I hate roller coasters, whether they’re real or emotional ones.
I came home yesterday in a super happy mode. Husband took Zoe (our dog) to the beach thus removing one task from my night duties, rented a funny movie and bought not 1 but 2 pints of Haagen Dazs! We had all elements of a perfect night schemed up.
I had gone to see IVF doctor #2 earlier in the afternoon to get a second opinion that day so I had to work late to make up the time. But nothing was gonna get in the way of our happy ending. I was so wrong.
I show up and we start chatting about my doctor appointment from earlier that day. I told him that the doctor complained about him not being there (not really but I had to exaggerate to make him understand) and that I would like to proceed with an IUI this month. I figured he had already agreed to do IVF, so what’s an IUI? Once again, wrong!
The whole thing escalated and somehow while he kept his cool and calm voice, the whole “keeping my cool” thing was extremely aggravating to me. He caught on to that and used it as weapon of mass destruction. Motherfucker!
My memory of last night isn’t exactly clear. Maybe my brain just chose to not remember everything and added some black patches to I wouldn’t be embarrassed of looking in the mirror this morning… I got so out of control that at one point I jumped on him, slapped him back and forth and bit his arm. WTF??? I was possessed! I had never done anything like that in my life, I’m the most cordial person ever. Usually I’m the one keeping my cool while he loses it. I was this close of going for the nuts but then I realized how counter intuitive that would have been considering my unpregnant situation.
The things our bodies, our hormones, do to us sometimes…Who the fuck am I? These hormones are killing me!