New Cycle, New Dosage, New Doctor
Since I was self proclaimed infertile I looked for the best infertility clinic here in Hawaii and started visiting frequently and they were great, I don’t think I ever had to wait for 1 minute. The building is beautiful, well decorated, and smells so unbelievably clean and fresh. As soon as I showed up, they would have me pee and walk me to my room which was ready just waiting for me, ultrasound machine programmed with my data in it already. It was like a infertility retreat. I don’t think I was ever treated with so much pompous in my life.
The doctor is supposedly really well known. He has several posters of magazine articles that were written about him and several awards, certificates and diplomas displayed through the dozens of rooms. The staff is incredible. They remembered me every single time by my first name and never even had to look it up. They are super courteous and polite. But something just didn’t sit well with me from day 1…
My husband isn’t able to come to every single appointment with me but we did go together to some of the starting ones. I told him about my OPKs never being positive, but after all the exams and blood work there was noting that indicated that we had a serious problem. I pass the hysterosalpingogram with flying colors, literally. Blood work was ok, hypothyroidism had been under control for several years, saline ultrasound also perfect… Husband sperm analysis wasn’t great but not aweful. And yet, he told us that our chance of natural conception was less than 1%. If we did IUI our chances would go up to 8% maybe, and IVF would be our best bet at 25-30% success. I have been freaking out ever since.
This week 2 of my friends told me to go see a doctor that I had never heard of before despite doing exhaustive research on all fertility specialists on this island. Somehow, this Dr. McKenzie passed by my detective work undetected. At this point I had already decided I would do a unmonitored self-medicated g0nal-f cycle anyways, might as well get a second opinion since I’ll have no other appointments booked for this month.
I’ve done 4 cycles with this doctor with timed intercourse all 4 times. So I decided to do this cycle solo, unmonitored. However, I received a call from a new patient appointment I had booked months ago and also booked another appointment with an OBGYN that 2 of my friends referred me to. The goal with IVF doctor #2 is to discuss if IVF really is what we should do and the goal with OBGYN is to have at least 1 scan during this cycle so i know how many follicles I have grown.
So I go to the OBGYN. As soon as I park I’m already having second thoughts. The building is very old and not taken care of at all and its right next to a mini-mart. Not the Walgreens type of mini mart, but the ghetto-country-freeway-road-side-mini-mart-type. I choose not to judge and go in.
As I open the door, the smell of cigarettes just invaded my body, it was overwhelming. It’s entrenched in the walls and it wreaks. The staff seems alright but not half as classy as what I’m used to. Their efficiency level is some of the worse I’ve seen. It’s one of those offices that has interior windows and when they don’t want to talk to you that just shut the window. I take a deep breath, cough a little from the taste of cigarettes and fill out all the paperwork they ask of me.
I’m finally invited in. The nurse takes my pressure, my weight, and asks me all the same questions I just answered on the stupid questionnaire while sitting on the cigarette pit slash waiting room. She walks me to my examination room and another nurse asks me the questions that nurse #1 didn’t, but that I had also already answered on the stupid questionnaire while sitting on the cigarette pit.
As I’m sitting there, answering the questions, I starting looking around in the room. Everything seems outdated and at least 30 years old. There is what seems to be an ugly sarong turned curtain in the window. There are several holes on the suspended ceiling, and one of the walls is covered with yellowed out pictures probably from babies that he helped birth. This feels like underground gyno place where women used to go get illegal abortions.
Doc comes in, old and grubby is my first impression. Focus on “do not judge”. So we start talking. I tell him everything had been through, all the meds I’ve been under and how I have this gut feeling that I don’t trust my doctor — although at this point I’m having second thoughts as to why I should trust this doctor too in the first place. But it seems that he is way more into letting the body do its thing, which I’m a fan of. I hate taking medication! I’ll take a Tylenol after 3 days of a headache and it’s not an exaggeration.
I ended up booking another appointment for next week on day 13 of my cycle and we’ll do an IUI the day after…. if I can convince the husband. we’ll see how that goes… I am fully recovered from the last roller coaster fall, which was this past weekend’s negative pregnancy test. Now the ride is going up again. Im really excited for this cycle to be IT! Good luck to me!