Signs You’ve Been Trying to Conceive for a While



…Feeling sick makes you excited that this is the month even though you know that week old sandwich could be the culprit.

…You look forward to your boobs hurting and you check daily for pain and color changes.

… You touch your boobies more than your husband does.

…Buying a 40 pack of HPT on Amazon seems completely reasonable to you.

…You can’t remember the last time you went to the Doctor’s office and it didn’t involve stirrups.

…All the nurses know you by first name.

…You live in fear that someone is about to break their pregnancy news to you… so you practice what to say but it never comes out natural because inside you’re fuming.

…You forget to pee on a stick one day and freak out about the wasted pee.

…And you have perfect aim when you POAS.

…You log sex times and body temps every day into an app on your phone.

…You log sex times and body temps every day into an app on your phone.

…You had or have a cup of your husband’s sperm in your bag.

…You have deconstructed a pregnancy test in order to “see the line better.”

…You treasure every single moment with the children you don’t yet have.

…Baby clothing stores make you look the other way.

+preg testarrow

…You suffer from IV (Infertility Vision): the ability to see pink lines when no one else can

…You avoid babysitting your friend’s kids for no good reason.

…When weird acronyms no longer scare you.

…You check your chart multiple times a day…. As if it’s going to change itself magically.

…Checking your cervical mucus and cervix position has become a part of your pee routine.


…Your daily supplement intake could substitute a meal on its own.

…The big O refers to ovulation, not orgasm.

…You spend more on OPKs, HPTs, and fertility treatments per month than you do on yourself.

… You can’t wait to gain 30Lbs.

… You can’t wait to gain 30Lbs.

…Your schedule revolves around your ovulation day.

…You love the idea of being pregnant with multiples.

…You’re the one telling your doctor what’s the next step in your treatment.

…Google already knows what you’re about to search and as soon as you type www. it completes it with

…Staying upside down after sex seems natural to you.

…Staying upside down after sex seems natural to you.

…You refer to sex as BDing.

…Your husband has blue balls because you need to wait until sex can be useful to actually do it.

…Someone asks you “how would you like your eggs?” and you immediately think “fertilized please”.

…You don’t mind telling complete strangers about the things that come out of your vagina…


…and you even take pictures to share with them.

…Peeing on a stick is the greatest time of the month.

…You belong to forums, blogs and chat rooms and know all about your virtual friend’s cycles.

…You know all the fertility drugs and what they’re used for.

…You can school all your friends about the reproductive system and all its tricks.

…You check the toilet paper after every wipe to analyze your CM.

…Your month is divided in waiting to O and waiting to POAS.

.. Sex is a scheduled event.

.. Sex is a scheduled event.

…you feel this is the month, every fucking month.

…Crying and laughing can happen within the same hour.

…You can stab yourself with a needle without even looking.

…You have a secret blog about infertility.

…You have a secret blog about infertility.



…You type an email to a student and spell check suggests “ovulating” as the correct entry to a misspelled “evaluating”. 24 Months and Counting

…You keep Wondfos in your gym bag WTF Ovaries


About Love,DANI

I have recently developed Obsessive Compulsive Blogging Disorder in order to mask the fact that my ability to procreate might be fully dependent on my bank account balance. Some think I'm bossy others think I'm soft, but the truth is I'm a sugglebunny she-ra wine drinking slave working alpha bitch that just wants to have some goddamn babies. is something I've always wanted to do since I was a kid and decided to write down all the things my mom did wrong but blogs didn't exist. So I take notes of things I want to teach my imaginary kids, good and bad. You'll find that I fluctuate between loving and crazy wannabe mom. I hope my kids will read this someday. This one is for my bitches and I write about whatever I want, whatever thought is on my mind that day. Beware, I freely curse ad I'm a firm believer that swear words are here to emphasize my thoughts.

Posted on May 2, 2014, in fertility, Humor, infertility, Sharing my wisdom and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. You are damn proud of your follicle ultrasound photos… Even if they didn’t turn into real babies.

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