I Want To Adopt An Older Child… There, I Said It!
Even before my infertility troubles, adoption has always been one of my “must do life events”. I’ve always wanted to adopt but like everyone that wants to adopt, I dreamed of adopting a small baby that I would nurture and love until they became a beautiful adult… things have changed a little bit in that department.
I’ve been watching a lot of videos about adoption on YouTube and there are so many kids that really want to be adopted but they know the likelihood of that happening is very slim, just because they are not a baby anymore. I’ve decided that I want to adopt one child or possibly siblings — if I can convince the husband — and I my only requirement is that they want to be adopted. That obviously only happens with older children who understand their situation and know things could be better.
I have been contacting a few adoption agencies, for now its just to get informed and prepared for when we’re ready, but I have to say that I can’t believe how difficult, cumbersome, bureaucratic and expensive this is, slash, can be.
If someone is willing to adopt a child left behind by whatever circumstances of life, therefore taking the child off the government’s “hands”, therefore reducing its expenses, therefore giving said child a better future, love, stability and a family, and big time therefore contributing to a better society, then the process should be almost (if not completely) free. It made me feel a little exploited…like someone was taking advantage of my vulnerability, my desire to be a mother.
I’m not saying the adoption process should be any different than what it is now. God forbid we make it easy for creeps and psychos to get their hands on little kids. No! The process should be just as strict, but it should be government funded. So many more people would do it, so many more children would be placed with permanent families. So many more “happily ever afters” would become reality.
Look at us for example. We’re both working class people and we do live paycheck to paycheck, but very comfortably. I paid for my university, we travel, we’re buying our own home soon, we own nice cars. We could definitely afford to support a child, with all its necessities, pay for school etc… Love, we got plenty! I could not however pay $20K out of pocket to adopt…especially when I’m already going to have to pay thousands for IVF. I don’t see how the government sees fit to pay for temporary families to foster kids, who end up just bouncing from house to house but never really having a home and a family, but won’t fund the adoption process.
I’m not sure if I’d want to run the risk of fostering a child that will most likely be ripped from my arms in just a few months… I couldn’t allow myself to fully love and be vulnerable in that relationship knowing that I was going to get my heart ripped out at any time. Unless I acted as a host family, but then nobody wins because the child still has no real family and we still have no child.
Everyone loses in this scenario. We lose for not being able to afford the adoption process. The child loses because it will stay in the foster care system for God knows how long. The government loses because it has to pay for this child until s/he turns 18. Society loses because foster kids are higher risks for a variety of things, from health to social related issues. Isn’t that a shame?
Now, that I’ve said it out loud and told the internet, so I can’t take it back. I can hope that things will start to fall into place…